I JUST CAN’T

I JUST CANT

I refuse to compete for your affection

I’d rather find refuge in my destination

I will be not desperate but single

I will walk the streets with dignity

 

My heart is working overtime for you

My pride does not recognize you

My eyes will forever see you

My mind will always be aware

 

I won’t deny the facts

I won’t pretend you don’t exists

My soul is attached to yours

My serenity will be intact

THE GODDESS

THE GODESS

I will love you Goddess of Africa

Until my soul disappear into air

The whiteness of my teeth will be seen by your roots

The coarseness of my hair will be cherished by you

 

Oh, I yell you the mother of my heart!

 

The pompous effect you have on me

The jubilant feeling you bring to my being

The resurrected heart- beat that wakes the neighbors

The patience you have when you are in labour

 

I prefer you the opus of my canvas!

 

My lingering wishes painted in pink

With the absorbance of peace

That keeps my heart on its toes

That relents me to destroy my toys

 

I will hold on to you with my claws!

 

In the process hope you don’t bleed

I would never wish to see your cheeks wet

The tears will not look good on you

That it will tarnish your appearance

 

Verses can certainly not do you uprightness!

IRRELEVANT

 hazziness

I lie awake at night

Like a hawk it is watching me

Just when I’m about to sleep

It makes the annoying sounds

My mind has overworked trying to figure it out

Not even science can explain it

I’m afraid to talk about it again

 

Because they did not hear it

They will not understand it

They will think I’m losing it

They will think I need psychiatric evaluation

While the universe is opening up to me

The earth is opening my ears

To hear the mysteries of the night

To dream of the agonizing

To endure the pain it inflicts on my soul

To understand that the night is meant to be serene

To just wait until I fall asleep

Then I can’t hear it no more

Then I wake up as if nothing happened

I put a smile on my face and say

I slept well.

THE LOSS

THE LOSS

Lost it and everything went black

Raised my hopes up and got rejected

My capabilities tested but the results were futile

Took deep breaths to allow the air to pass through my chest cavity

Chest so tight letting go of all hope

Wasted time and energy never regained

The nauseating watery mucus flowing into my lips

 

I’m not disgusting, I just lost!

 

Lost the key that can open many doors

Lost the value of my rationality

The veins on my forehead pumping hard

Making my eyes very red

Just because I had lost

Not just loss but demeaned

Reminded that it will not rain.

HEAVY HEART

HEAVY HEART

Pinched on my ribcage

Pumping slowly, weightily

As I take deep breaths

While the needle goes in

Trying to patch up what’s left of it

Sewing all holes on it

And I walk with my head held high

Boosting of confidence that is wrecked

Hiding the drainage it has experienced

Only if I could hold it in my hand

And show my acquaintances how fragile it is

How worn out and damaged it is

 

Then they will accept it without judgment

Then maybe it won’t be tormented

 

REVOLUTION

REVOLUTION

No! It is no okay

To feel this pain

To feel this helpless

To be so moody

It is really not okay

To carry so much with my shoulders

For my heart to be this heavy

To have to pretend that I’m not breaking

For stopping tears not to fall on my cheeks

NO! It is not okay

To wipe falling waters on my face

I want them to dry up on their own

I want to scream my lungs out in agony

I want to question the face of the earth

It will never be okay!

To please my ego because I don’t want the world to laugh

To please my family because they are all I have

To conform to conventional norms because it is my culture

To continue pretending to be strong for others

It can never be okay to live like this!

WREAKED

Like a teabag you dissolve into my soul

Like my fingernails you grow back, few days just after I cut them

Like my hair you keep on twisting, making a stronger dreadlock

Like a chewing gum you make a mess on my clothes

 

It is evident I can’t separate you from me!

Cutting you off is just a waste of time cause you going to grow back!

You withstand the harshness of the environment!

I can’t be angry at you because your face puts a smile on my face!

 

My mind is infested by our imagined lives together

Your voice soothes my soul I just fall asleep

You are the goddess I wish to worship

When I look at you I see heaven.